The Girl That Is Not Me

Found this in my drafts, dated 5 August 2011.

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I shall begin an extremely long and pointless post on The Girl That Is Not Me, who is actually me but just a much better version of me such that she is clearly no longer me because if that were me then uh... I wouldn't be the me that is me now. Let me explain.

I don't know if the rest of you are like me, but basically I can spend a huge amount of time dreaming/daydreaming.

The Girl That Is Not Me

In my daydreaming, The Girl That Is Not Me is actually me, but with the perfect body and the perfect face. She is also extremely rich and extremely clever.

The Girl That Is Not Me usually has a double degree in whatever the 2 hardest degrees Harvard has to offer (of which I have no clue) (I could never decide if I wanted her to be an intellectual, or a brainiac - a neuro, bio, whatever-o scientist). She usually is also pursuing a Masters/Doctorate in both or a degree in something else completely unrelated like Medicine, just because she can.

And she has done all this but she's never above the age of 22.

She also is extremely fit and knows martial arts. Hahahaha.

I don't actually know how she looks like. The Girl That Is Not Me never had a face, nor a name. I just know she is awesome in every aspect. In my daydreams I know she is clearly not me/I am clearly not her. Giving her my name is just... yuck. And giving her another name is just too problematic. What would be the perfect name for The Girl That Is Not Me?
So basically in my daydreams I just float around in her psyche and bask in her awesome-ness.

Dreaming/Daydreaming

Now what do I mean by dreaming/daydreaming (to be used together)? Sometimes I begin daydreaming (usually at night in my bed) and here it is clearly a construct made entirely with my brain. But often I fall asleep and my dream picks up from my daydream, just that it obviously puts some retarded twist to it.

Which is how The Girl That Is Not Me ended up as an ex-CIA agent with a young son running away from the CIA who want to kill her because she knows too much.

This part is CLEARLY a dream, because so far I have never imagined myself as a secret agent. A witch (at Hogwarts), a cheerleader, a teacher... yes. A secret agent? No, never.

And also my lucid brain is not retarded enough imagine myself with a child. I sometimes daydream of The Girl That Is Not Me saving children (based on whatever book I had just read) but the daydream kind of ends there because I am only 21 years old and the maternal instinct is not exactly kicking in yet.

Back to my story.

Now you enter the point where it's a dream/daydream. You're still floating in and out of sleep, but your brain directs some parts of how the story unfolds.
The lucid half of my brain decides that my child looks like it should be a 2 year old, so that's established, while the non-lucid half goes on an imagination rampage.

The Girl That Is Not Me Falls In Love

The non-lucid half of my brain, decides that I run away with my child and hop on the train, getting off 2 stops later at a small town where I fall in love with a handsome guy.... that lives in a caravan. WITH HIS GRANDMA.

At this point I'm more awake, so the lucid half of my brain wrestles control over the story.

My lucid brain knows the Grandma is highly problematic because HELLO?! I AM RUNNING AWAY FROM THE CIA LEH. GRANDMA CAN RUN ANOT.

The lucid part of my brain also finds it a bit disturbing that the brilliant, wealthy Harvard valedictorian Girl That Is Not Me should fall for a bum, who is very cute but has no job and lives with his grandma -_-
Like all characters in my daydreams, I have no idea how this guy looks like. I just know for a fact that he's cute.

But never mind, I decide that this is all very new and interesting compared to my usual daydreams, and anyway The Girl That Is Not Me has enough money for everyone to live in absolute luxury.

So I decide that the Grandma should be "gotten rid of" from my daydream by leaving her at her friend's place. After all, it's not safe for her. The Girl That Is Not Me can take on a lot of CIA agents, but there's a limit.
Grandma also conveniently dies peacefully in her sleep a few days later so that we don't need to worry about going back to get her.

I considered "getting rid of" my son (hahahaha) but was resigned to the fact that it was too intrinsic to my daydream; fault of my non-lucid brain.

The Plot Turns Deadly

And here I fell asleep again, so my stupid asleep-brain took over and turned the CIA agents into zombie-vampire-creatures and gave me the ability to fly (Woohoo! Awesome feeling even if it's just a dream!).

In my dream I set a whole building of CIA agents on fire (no pity since they're vampires).

Then I woke up again and continued the daydream all the way up to the point where I was supposed to break into the CIA Technology database to wipe out records of me. But the execution of this proved far too taxing on my brain to imagine the technicalities of.

The End

Congratulations! You just wasted 5 minutes of your life reading this.